July 18, 2006
July 18, 2006 | Updates
Things are pretty busy around our house, so I won’t be able to post as much as I would like tonight. But I had to take a moment and let everyone know that Samuel is still doing well. His birthday was yesterday and he turned 3 years old. It is so strange because it seems like the last year has gone so quickly. But at the same time, I remember those first few months thinking I could never make it a year from the day of his accident. I especially remember the two months in the hospital dragging on forever and ever. It seemed impossible to live with what had happened, but we are. And it is OK. That amazes me.We held a little party for Samuel last night. He got some toys, movies, books on CD, shoes, a lifejacket (so we can see if he enjoys going to the pool), a beanbag and some other little gifts. We also moved a larger TV into his room since the one he’s been watching in there is a portable 4″ screen. That should make it easier for him to enjoy his movies.
Samuel enjoyed the party part of the time. He was a little crabby all day, so it wasn’t quite what I had hoped. But he loved his balloons and enjoyed watching Ben play with them. He also smiled a little as we sang to him and he had a little bit of the strawberry filling in his cake. He seemed interested as we opened his presents and paid quite a bit of attention. Last year, he opened one gift that was filled with clothes. He took one look, said “Nice!” like he really liked them and then threw them behind him and went for the next gift. So this year, as we opened his present with his shoes in it, I said “Nice!” for him and he smiled. Maybe coincidence, but I like to think not.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of his accident. It’s been 1 year since our lives changed so drastically. And what a year it has been. I have thought about it so much and want to write more, but simply don’t have the time tonight. So I will post more later. In my heart, I am so happy to have Samuel here with us. He is the greatest joy and the sweetest little boy. I worry that I spend too much time on him, but the other boys are never jealous because they feel the same way I do about him. He is absolutely wonderful. But another part of my heart still aches for the little boy that was taken that day. I know he is still in there, but I miss him. I miss his voice. I miss his cute thoughts. I miss his walk and his run. I miss his laugh. I miss his messes. And I miss his kisses. I have let myself forget him somewhat because it is too painful to hold on. But I will never forget him entirely. And I so await the day that I will have him back - whether in this life or the next.
We love you Samuel! What a sacrifice you have made to teach us greater love and so many other lessons this past year. We hope this next year will bring many improvements and so much progression. But most of all, we wish for you to be happy. Because, really, that is all that matters to us.
Love,
The Jewkes
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