3-Year Anniversary
July 22, 2008 | Updates
Time is flying and so is the summer. Just wanted to let everyone know we survived the 3-year anniversary of Samuel’s accident without too much difficulty. We actually had another little party for him the day before his birthday (Wednesday). He got to open a few more presents and even had a little cheesecake (until our stupid pesty dog snagged the rest of what was on his plate while I wasn’t looking). But it was all good. My mom and step-dad were here and able to celebrate with us. And my mom even rigged up some nice inventions for his new stroller to ensure every hard spot he can reach is well padded. Thanks mom!
Samuel’s actual birthday (Thursday) was a pretty hectic day. I had to spend all day in town in meetings, so I wasn’t too happy about that. But, we did make sure to take him to the movies that afternoon. We watched Kung Fu Panda and we were the ONLY ones in the theatre. That turned out to be really nice since Samuel was noisy through part of the movie.
About Friday night, it hit me that the anniversary day was about here and I spent some time in Samuel’s room while he slept crying and rethinking the past 3 years. I guess I’ve decided that the hurt never really goes away and that it resides just below the surface in me. I’ve come to accept that things are the way they are, but that doesn’t mean they can’t get better. I still so miss my little boy and am so sad at all that we aren’t able to share together. But I am also so thankful for all that we have. I wondered that night if I could just choose one thing for him what it would be. I think I would choose for him to be able to communicate with us. I so often wonder what he is thinking or how he feels or if he knows how much we love him. I so wish he could talk to us and let us know what’s inside that cute little head of his. I hope that he will be able to tell us sometime in the near future. That would be so incredibly wonderful!
Saturday started off early with Samuel being invited to the birthday party of a little boy in his preschool class. I was so touched that this little boy would think to invite his friend, Samuel, to his party. It was a cute little party and the kids were very accepting of Samuel. Bummer thing was, he slept through most of it - stinker! But it still meant the world to me that his friend wanted him there.
The rest of the day, we spent at Bear Lake. It was the first day in a long time that I was able to just spend a lot of time with Tom and all 5 boys relaxing together and just enjoying each other. Samuel faired well all day and things went pretty smoothly. I was so tired by the time we got home, but it was a good tired. And I didn’t even think all day about the fact that it was the 3-year anniversary of his accident. I’ve decided I’ll try doing that next year - getting all my crying out the night before so I can just enjoy Samuel on that day and not wallow in my own misery :).
So, that’s about it. Summer school ends in a week and our trip to California for ABR is coming soon after. Throw in a few family reunions and the summer will be over. Makes me sad because I love summer. Makes me happy because they’ll turn the canal water off. Maybe if I could get them to run the water in the winter, I could have the best of both worlds in the summer! Doubt they’d go for that though :(. Ah, well, I really think about it way too much…
Hope you’re all doing well. Keep those prayers coming!
Love,
The Jewkes
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July 23rd, 2008 at 7:45 am, Caradie & Corbin Says:
Thank you for leaving the post on Corbie’s caringbridge about getting a video of Samuel’s arching. I would LOVE to see.
Corbie’s 3 yr was on May 22 & I made it all the way through without crying but the other day I was in the potty & a fire truck went by & I lost it.
Also a month or so ago the hubby was cleaning out the garage & I found the little shorts & tank top outfit he was wearing the day before the accident that I took pics of him in. That wasn’t a pretty day.
Love Caradie & Corbin
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:29 am, Tammy and Parker Says:
Sending lots of hugs….and prayers. Yea! for birthday parties.
And, you know, from the first time I met Samuel, to the last time we visited, the progress he has made! Don’t forget that. Sometimes it is hard for us to see the progress being made cause we are with our kids day in and day out. But it is there. And Samuel is moving forward.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:45 pm, Tiffani Says:
Hi Big Sister. My heart hurts for you at this time every year. We pray for Samuel all of the time. One of these days he’ll be talking your ear off, and you’ll laugh about the days you wished for him to communicate! I love you.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:38 pm, Darlene Says:
Hello Jewkes:
Happy belated birthday Samuel. Your getting to be such a big boy already. Teresa, I wish I had some words to comfort you, I know every firsts and anniversaries take much strength to deal with. Just please know that you have the support of family and friends here to help you through these darken days. Samuel has made huge progress since his accident,and know he would have never passed these milestones without the love and support he has received from you. Trust me Samuel knows deep down how much you love him unconditional and one day he may be able to tell you how he really feels………. Never give up on hope.
much love,
July 29th, 2008 at 12:35 am, Suzi Searles Says:
I’m so thankful to hear that you had a great day with the family on Samuel’s anniversary day. It makes that day so much better. I wish I could say that I can’t relate to how you feel, but we will always have that in common my friend. As others have said, Samuel’s progress continues to be great, though I realize it’s never enough, you want that sweet little boy you lost that tragic day. I continue to pray for his complete healing and for you and your family to have the strength that you need to get through each and every day.
Love in Christ,
Suzi Searles