Faith in humanity…
August 5, 2009 | Updates
This post was written in May 2009 - sorry to be so slow in getting it on the site…
Today my faith in humanity was tested - a lot. I’ve been interviewing girls to take my sister’s place over the summer and work with Samuel in our home. It’s been a difficult thing for me to do - choose someone to care for my handicapped, nonverbal, little boy. I want someone that I can trust to love him…to care about him. I want to find someone who WANTS to be part of his life. And I feel I’m doing all I can to find that person by conducting interviews, requiring and calling references and requiring background checks. To put it mildly, it has been tiresome. And, in the end, I have really struggled to pick the right person.
But today…today I felt good about my decision…until…
Until Tom’s cousin’s daughter showed up at our office to talk to me about something she had overheard last night. What a wonderful girl she is as she drove clear to my home and then clear back to our office to find me and have the conversation with me in person. It probably took a good hour out of her day. But she was so sweet and kind about it and I am so grateful that she did.
You see, last night, she was working in a local restaurant and overheard some college aged girls talking. She was busy cleaning tables and only caught little pieces of what they were saying - at first. She heard one of the girls mention a canal near drowning. And as the conversation progressed, she heard the name Sam. And then she put on her ears and listened to as much as she could. And what she heard deeply offended and concerned her. She heard one of the girls talk about having interviewed for a job to work with this boy. And she heard her basically “bashing” our family to her friends. I won’t go into the details, but it was enough to boil our cousin’s blood and lead her to feel that she had to get in contact with me quickly as there was no way she was going to allow such a person to work with Samuel.
Needless to say, I was caught off-guard by it. I don’t think I was as bothered by the things she said as I was by the fact that she was saying them to her friends while at the same time leading me to believe that she WANTED to be a part of our family and she WANTED to work with Samuel. And you can bet that I quickly began deducing exactly who this person was.
A few phone calls and a few quick questions thrown into normal conversation and I had found the one. She said she had been at the local restaurant when I asked her nonchalantly and out of the blue. She, obviously, will not be considered for the job. But the thing that really caught me off guard was the fact that she was the only one of the group with a handicapped sibling. To have someone who grew up in that sort of situation be so quick to judge people that she had only spent a few minutes with was appalling. And, as I stated in the beginning, my faith in the goodness of humanity has definitely been shaken by her. Maybe it was something she just did in jest, but she has no idea the worry that she caused in me.
On a good note, she was at the bottom of the list of candidates I was considering. Her references were sort of blah and I was not all that impressed with her. I was more impressed by others who had come and shown real concern for us and for Samuel. And the others had high praising references while she did not.
In the end, I’m sure this too will pass in my mind and my faith in the goodness of people will return. But at the same time, there will always be a little doubt in the back of my head as I wonder just how many people ploy kindness to my face and disgrace behind my back. I’m sure there are more than I will ever know. But to those of you who truly do love us and our little boy and who truly do support us and understand our situation or at least avoid judgment knowing you cannot know our situation, I thank you…from the bottom of my heart. That is the love that the Savior exemplified. That is the love that we all should have.
And to this young lady who found it so easy to criticize us despite knowing nothing about us…I can only say that there will come a day, in this life or the next, when she will look back on that decision and realize what she has done and wish that she could take it back…if for no other reason than to repent for the hurt she projected onto one of the few angels she has ever actually been blessed to meet…
Teresa
UPDATE: The day after I wrote this, the girl who originally worked for us for a year after Samuel’s accident called me on the phone. She had just come home from her mission to England and needed a job. She was PERFECT for the position and I knew her well. And, she only needed work for the summer - until my sister would be back. I hired her on the spot! What a huge, huge blessing!
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August 5th, 2009 at 1:17 pm, Sharon Jewkes Says:
This was a very touching story. I know how difficult it is to find the right person to help you. Many years ago we had the problem of searching for the right one. We found an angel straight from heaven. May your angel be the help you need and will show the love to Samuel that he needs. May the Lord continue to bless you through these trials. We love you. Sharon
August 6th, 2009 at 6:09 pm, Caradie and Corbin Says:
Hi Teresa,
I totally understand having a hard time finding the right person to care of our children. I don’t have any input to who they send me so I have had some real crazy people in my house. Good luck with this new girl and I bet you can’t wait for your sis to come back. She sure has been amzaing with Samuel.
Love you guys
Caradie and Corbin
August 7th, 2009 at 12:33 am, Suzi Searles Says:
I’m so glad to hear it all worked out. I too know the difficulty in finding good, reliable, loving help. As my daughter gets married next month, I will be looking for someone to take her place, though I’m sure I will never be able to find some to take her place of course. But I really do feel that I need to find someone to help. Not easy, but I have to believe it’s doable.
I hope that you are having a good summer and that Samuel is staying healthy. We have had a roller coaster of a summer, some good days and some extremely hard days.
Suzi Searles
August 11th, 2009 at 6:26 am, Natalie Says:
Ooh people make me so mad sometimes! I cannot believe this girl. She just missed out on an opportunity to get to be around such an amazing family and a truly sweet miracle boy. I have such a hard time letting people in or around Brea because I can’t handle stuff like that on a regular basis. People can be so stinkin’ insensitive. I am so sorry. Glad you found a better person for the job. She will definitely be blessed by knowing all of you!